


Selfish Love

by Xeylah



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-10 01:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11681382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xeylah/pseuds/Xeylah
Summary: "Maybe it's okay for us both to be a little selfish then, sometimes."





	Selfish Love

It’s the night before Oikawa leaves for university. He has an early train in the morning, and he’ll take his things and move into the dorm that’ll be his home for the next year. Iwaizumi is going to leave himself in a few days… this is the last chance they have to see each other, probably for a long time. They know this, so without any real planning they find themselves walking around their neighborhood that night, standing close together, and for a long time, neither of them speaks. What do you say to your best friend, to the person who’s been by your side, literally, at every point of your life, when you have to go your separate ways?

He doesn’t know.

They walk a little longer, while Oikawa tries to think of something to say, other than the usual _“Keep in touch! I’ll miss you! We should definitely get together next break we have…”_ He doesn’t think those things, while true, are really enough right now.

It’s Iwaizumi that speaks first, slowing down to a stop and turning to face Tooru.

“Hey…  There’s something I’ve gotta say to you,” he says, and Oikawa just nods, and listens.  

Iwaizumi takes a deep breath and begins.

“I need you to know, before everything changes… I mean I wasn’t- I didn’t wanna say anything, and I didn’t, for so long, because I was worried that it would change things between us? And I don’t… I didn’t wanna do that, but now, with us going to different universities, I feel like I just need to say it. Everything’s going to change anyway, and I don’t-” he keeps cutting himself off, keeps rambling, and runs his hand through his hair in frustration before trying again.  “I don’t want this to be the thing that tears us apart when it’s already going to be different-”

“Hey, hey, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa interrupts. “Calm down, you’re scaring me…” Iwa-chan almost never talks this much at once…  not that he’s quiet, just that he tends to let his actions speak for him. Whatever he wants to say, he’s clearly struggling with it. That worries Oikawa, because when has Hajime ever had trouble talking to him before?

He puts his right hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder, hopefully in encouragement. “You know you can tell me anything, right? It won’t change anything, I swear. Okay?”

(Later, when Oikawa thinks back on this conversation, he’ll regret saying that. Not because he didn’t mean it, but because it ended up not being true.)

The hand on his shoulder seems to do the trick, calming Iwaizumi’s thoughts enough to let him speak.

“Okay,” Iwaizumi says, and breathes out. “I love you… I’m _in_ love with you.”

_Oh._

“Oh…” Oikawa says dumbly, still processing the words.  

Iwaizumi continues. “I have been, for a while, and I don’t expect you to say anything back, because I know you don’t feel the same way, but I…” his sentence trails off, and the way Iwaizumi is looking at him, Oikawa knows, without a doubt, that it’s not a joke. Hajime really is in love with him. “I wanted to say it, just in case I don’t get another chance.”

Oikawa looks at him, really looks at his best friend, the person he’s closest to in the entire world, and nods slowly. “… Okay.”

Hajime looks a little relieved at that. “Yeah?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Oikawa smiles softly. “We’re okay, right?”

“Yes! Yeah, of course we are!” Hajime confirms, and Oikawa doesn’t feel quite as nervous now.

His smile widens. “Right! I meant what I said, earlier. We’re best friends. Nothings going to change that.”

Hajime nods, “Right,” he says, and smiles back up at him.

“Not going to different universities. Not… this. Nothing.”

“Right. Good. Okay,” Iwaizumi responds, and he sounds relieved.

Oikawa tries to look for any signs of disappointment on his face, and plays his voice back over in his head, listening for anything that might mean Hajime didn’t get the answer he wanted, and might hold some resentment towards Tooru for not loving him back… but all he finds is that honest relief. He looks like he just got a huge weight off of his chest, and he supposes that he had. He really just wanted to… say it.

And that’s it.

Oikawa shoves down any weird feelings he has about all of this, to deal with later. Because the most important thing is that nothing is going to change, and that they’re _fine_.

Oikawa moves forward suddenly to wrap his friend in a hug, which Hajime quickly returns.

“I’m going to miss you, Iwa-chan,” he mumbles into his best friend’s neck.

Hajime chuckles, “I’m going to miss you too, idiot.”

They part, and walk back to their houses together in companionable silence, before saying their final goodbyes, and parting ways. Oikawa leaves the next morning, with the promise hanging between them that everything’s fine, and that nothing is going to change.

* * *

 

However, things _do_ change between them. It’s different, being so far apart when you used to see each other everyday. It just is. But they text, and even with their busy schedules they find times to tell each other about their days.

It’s not enough, though. It doesn’t feel right.

Tooru tries to reassure himself; he knows this is more contact than most people share with their former classmates after starting different universities, but it still doesn’t sit right with him. He checks his phone more than he should, and he keeps catching himself looking next to him when he’s walking to classes only to find nobody there, and turning to smile behind him in class where his Iwa-chan should be instead of some random kid he doesn’t know.

Everything he does, the way he moves, everywhere he looks, he expects Hajime to be there. He’s started dozens of sentences he’s left hanging in midair, because the person that they’re meant for isn’t around to hear them.

It sucks.

It’s not like he’s _lonely_ , either. He meets his roommate, Kuroo Tetsurou, the former captain of Nekoma volleyball team, and they hit it off almost right away. They not only have their connections to Karasuno in common, Nekoma being a long time rival of the team, but they both came to this school for volleyball, and the science program.

“You’re majoring in chemistry?” Oikawa asks, interested.

“Yep! I was going to room with my friend, Bokuto, but I guess here all the science majors get stuck in one building,” Kuroo shrugs lazily. “So now _you’re_ stuck with me.”

Oikawa laughs at that, flicking his bangs out of his face. “Somehow I’ll have to manage.”

_Bokuto, huh?_

“Why do I feel like I’ve heard that name before?” Oikawa asks.

“Volleyball, I’m sure. He was the captain and ace of Fukurodani?”

“One of the top five wing spikers in the country?”

Kuroo laughs loudly, “Don’t tell him you’ve heard of him or we’ll never hear the end of it.”

Of course, that’s how he meets Bokuto Koutarou, another first year on the volleyball team. Between the time he spends with them after practice, along with practice itself, all his classes, he doesn’t really have _time_ to be lonely.

He still finds himself missing Iwa-chan though.

He continues to do his best to try and talk to Hajime every day, while still focusing on his team, and his classes. Things get incredibly busy though, and without noticing it, they start texting each other less and less. It isn't until an opportunity arises for him to see his best friend, that he realizes how comfortable he was getting in his routine _without_ Iwa-chan. It's actually that thought that upsets him more than the fact that they're so far apart; he doesn't _want_ to get used to it.

His thumbs hover over the keys on his phone. He really _should_ invite Hajime… so why is he hesitating? Why does all of this feel so _weird_?

It's only been a few months, and they're both busy. There's no reason he should feel this way when they're still talking as much as they are. What about his other friends? He's barely keeping in touch with them… he's perfectly content knowing that they'll get together the next chance they have, and that everyone is busy trying to figure out their own lives.

What’s so different about his relationship with Iwa-chan that’s causing him to be so bothered about the idea of them growing apart? Granted, they’ve always been closer than just friends… they’re _best_ friends, and they grew up together, so it’s only natural for him to feel this way, right?

_“I love you… I’m_ in _love with you.”_

He feels his face heat up, and covers his face with one hand, even though there's no one around to see him blush so furiously.

He finally gives in and sends the text.

**Oikawa: iwa-chan iwa-chan iwa-chan**

…

He sends another text.

**Oikawa: iwa-chan! answer your phone! i have something important to tell you!**

He has to wait a few minutes for a response, but he knows that if he says it's important, Iwaizumi will respond as soon as he can. He’s not going to lie and say it’s an _emergency_ , but he’s nervous and he doesn’t know why and he doesn’t want too much time to overthink-

**Iwa-chan:** **what is it?**

_Finally_.

**Oikawa: my first game as official setter for my team is this friday**

**Iwa-chan: wait, seriously?**

**Oikawa: yep! senpai was injured during practice last week**

**so that means i’m going to be starting sooner than i thought**

**Iwa-chan: wow**

**Oikawa: yeah, it's a lot of pressure…**

**Iwa: are you going to be okay?**

**what am i saying of course you are**

Oikawa pauses at that. Is he going to be okay? He’s been practicing so much, but how this match goes could determine so much: his dynamic with the team for the rest of the year, what the coaches think of his ability…

**Oikawa: i think so** , he responds.

**we’ve practiced a ton, but i’m still nervous**

**Iwa-chan: that's okay. you're going to be great.**

Iwa-chan seems to have so much confidence in him… He still remembers what if feels like to have someone you trust implicitly standing beside you on the court. It’s a reassuring feeling, but one that he’s not going to have when he steps onto the court on Friday. He has to prove he can excel without it.

**Oikawa: i know it's selfish, and i only get to play because someone else can’t, but i need to prove myself, to the team and to my coach**

**Iwa-chan: it's not selfish** , Iwa-chan’s response it almost instant.

**you know what it's like to have an injury stand in the way of getting to play, you wouldn't wish that on anybody**

**and you stepping up is going to help your team**

**so shut up about being selfish you idiot**

The flurry of texts come in all at once, like Iwa-chan is typing aggressively fast to get his point across. Oikawa can almost see his grumpy face scrunched up in rage, hunched over his phone screen. It makes him laugh a little.

**Oikawa: omg iwa-chan calm down**

**of course you're right iwa-chan**

**i’m not going to waste this chance while i’ve got it!**

**Iwa-chan: good. feel better now?**

How is it possible that he feels so much better after just this quick conversation?

**Oikawa: yeah, thanks iwa-chan**

**Iwa-chan:** **you're welcome**

He pauses again. This is the whole reason he wanted to text Iwa-chan, right? He has to do it. He has a feeling he knows what the answer will be, but he’d be kicking himself later if he didn’t at least ask…

**Oikawa: you know, i’d feel even better with you there**

**HEY HERE'S AN IDEA**

**you could come to my game and cheer me on**

**Iwa-chan: yeah right**

**Oikawa: PLEASE IWA-CHAN**

**it would be so fun i promise**

**Iwa-chan: Oikawa i’m not going to have time**

**Oikawa: you could take the train down that day after classes! and you could stay with me and take the first train back in the morning!**

**Iwa-chan: ugh that sounds exhausting**

**Oikawa: please**

**please**

**please**

**please**

**please please please**

**Iwa-chan: you know i would if i could**

He doesn’t know how a text can sound so… regretful. He feels a little guilty for pushing so hard, but _god_ he just wants to see him so badly.

**Oikawa: … i know**

**it's just**

**this is the first real match i’m going to play without you on my side of the net**

**and so it would be kind of nice if you could still be there to cheer me on**

**i know it's wishful thinking though. you still have school, and practice of your own, and it's a long trip. i was just being selfish you know me ;) ;) ;)**

**Iwa-chan: stop saying that idiot**

**maybe i’ll be able to make it to a game some other time**

**Oikawa: i’d like that**

**Iwa-chan: me too**

**idiot**

He feels like smiling the rest of the day. Even though Iwa-chan won’t be able to be there, he feels like he’ll be there in spirit. And, even though things certainly aren’t back to normal, he feels like just maybe things are going to be okay between them.

* * *

 

He’s busy the rest of the week. Coach had promised to try out several of the first years at some point during the upcoming match, since Oikawa would be setting anyway, and between the extra team practices to prepare for the game, the time afterwards he spends in the gym with Bokuto and Kuroo, and the little time he has outside of that for homework and stuff like _eating_ , he hasn’t had a chance to talk to Iwa-chan again.

He’s putting his things in his locker after changing into his uniform for the game when his phone buzzes.

It’s Iwa-chan.

**Iwa-chan: hey which gym door should i go through**

**Oikawa: ?**

**Iwa-chan: nevermind i found it**

_… what is he talking about?_

And then it hits him.

**Oikawa: WHAT** Oikawa starts texting rapidly.

**ARE YOU HERE**

**Iwa-chan: yeah**

**Oikawa: IWA-CHAN**

Oikawa knows he’s only going to get Iwaizumi-type responses, so he gives up texting and hits the call button next to Iwa-chan’s name.

_Incoming Call from Oikawa_

“IWA-CHAN!” he shouts.

“Gah... don't yell…” Iwaizumi’s irritated voice comes across muffled over the phone speaker.

“Are you in Tokyo?!?! Really???” Oikawa can hardly contain his excitement.

Iwaizumi answers, “Yeah, I am, I-”

“You're at my school?!?” Oikawa interrupts.

“ _Yes_ , I-”

“Did you come to see my game?” Oikawa plunges on.

Iwaizumi tries again. “Of course I-”

“Are you serious?” Oikawa questions.

“Oikawa, why would I joke about that? Of course I'm here,” Iwaizumi placates.

If Oikawa was excited at the idea of Iwa-chan being there, now he’s really buzzing.

“Oh my god,  _where are you_ , I have to find you before we warm up-” Oikawa frantically looks around for a clock, ignoring the phone in his hand.

“ _No,_ just-” Hajime sighs on the other end of the line. “Focus on the game. I came here to support you, and I'll be here after, okay?”

“Okay…” Oikawa pouts, but his enthusiasm quickly returns. “Find a spot close to the court to sit so I can see you!”

“What did I just say?” Iwaizumi objects. “Focus on the game Shittykawa, don't spend time trying to look for me in the stands.”

“ _Iwa-chan!_ I promise you're not that distracting,” he teases. “Just tell me where you're sitting!”

“Ugh, I don't even know where I'm going to sit yet, there are so many people here already...” Hajime trails off, starting to sound distracted.

“ _Just try_.”

“Fine,” he huffs. “I'll text you when I sit down, but then put your phone away and focus on your game!”

“Yay! Iwa-chan’s going to see how amazing I am!”

“I already know how amazing you are, idiot.”

And he hangs up.

_I already know how amazing you are, idiot._

Oikawa stands there with his phone in his hand and his heart racing.

“Earth to Oikawa!”

A hand waves in front of his face and his eyes focus on the perpetrator: Kuroo.

“Something happen?” he asks and tilts his head so some of his messy hair flops over to the other side.

“Iwa-chan's here,” Oikawa replies, and regrets almost instantly at the cat-like smirk that crawls across Kuroo’s face.

“Ohoho? Came all this way to see you play, did he?”

“Of course he did, since I'm just so amazing,” Oikawa smirks back.

_I already know how amazing you are, idiot._

His phone buzzes in his hands with another text.

**Iwa: 38C** it says simply.

He smiles and shoves his phone into his locker. He closes it, and with that motion begins mentally getting into game mode.

The game goes well. Actually, it's a _great_ game. Oikawa is incredibly in sync with his teammates, especially for their first real game together, and they take the first set without any problems. The second set is almost as easy, the other team barely putting up a fight. They make a comeback in the third set, only to be crushed in the fourth. It was a riveting game, one that had Oikawa’s mind and body racing, and had the whole crowd on the edge of their seats.

He's wiping the sweat from his face and guzzling down water when he finally looks up and sees him. Without any searching, their eyes always seem to find each other.

… Although Iwa-chan did tell him where he was sitting.

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa calls, and waves.

Iwaizumi has the hugest grin on his face, making it clear how much he enjoyed the game.

Hooting erupts beside him as Bokuto's full weight lands on his shoulder,and almost knocks him down. His resemblance to an owl sometimes really is uncanny.

“Bro, that _serve!_ It was killer, Oikawa!” Bokuto is shouting as he shakes Oikawa back and forth by the shoulders.

One of the things Oikawa loves most about having Bokuto Koutarou as a member of his team, is his endless enthusiasm. It’s nice to have someone around who loves volleyball as much as he does.

By the time he untangles himself from Bokuto’s excitement, Iwaizumi isn’t in the same spot in the stands. That’s fine, Oikawa will just text him when he gets back to the locker room. It’s the best way for them to find each other anyway, in this crowd.

He turns back to Bokuto. “Ready to go back to the locker room?” he asks.

“Yeah!” Bokuto nods. “I think the team is going out together after Coach releases us, you coming?”

Oikawa hums in thought. “Iwa-chan’s here, so I’ll have to talk to him first…”

“WHAT!” Bokuto shouts again. “Oikawa! You can bring him with you! Bring Iwaizumi! I want to say hi!”

Oikawa smiles at Bokuto’s enthusiasm towards his best friend. _That’s right, they’ve never officially met_. Iwaizumi knows plenty from the stories Oikawa tells of his teammates, especially Kuroo and Bokuto who are the other first years on the team. He knows he talks about Iwa-chan a lot, too. If Bokuto's usual enthusiasm towards meeting new people was anything to go by, Bokuto was probably even more excited to meet some he had been hearing about… anticipation building, and all that.

If Oikawa was being honest with himself, he'd much rather just go home and spend the rest of the night watching movies with Iwa-chan. But… his team was counting on him. Especially after such an important match like this, bonding with his team and earning their trust was important. It's be selfish for him to leave them, and keep Iwa-chan all to himself…

He finds the object of all his thoughts lately before he even gets to his phone, leaning against the wall a few feet from the locker room. He's looking at his phone, but perks up when he hears the commotion heading towards him.

“Hey, hey, Iwaizumi!” Bokuto hollers, and when Iwaizumi looks up, Oikawa waves.

He smiles.

Oikawa missed that smile.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi says as they approach.

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru motions to his best friend. “This is Bokuto Koutarou. Bokuto, this is Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi makes a grumpy face at Oikawa, which only makes him laugh.

Oikawa missed that grumpy face.

“Iwaizumi Hajime,” he says, shaking Bokuto’s hand. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“Same, same! Oikawa talks about you all the time!”

Oikawa pouts at that, and crosses his arms. “Not all the time…”

“Kuroo Tetsurou,” Kuroo’s voice speaks just behind him, and Oikawa startles. Why do people keep popping up out of nowhere! Is he really that distracted… ?

Iwaizumi and Kuroo both ignore Oikawa’s jumpiness, and finish their introductions.

“So, Kuroo turns to Oikawa. “You guys coming with the team to celebrate, or not?”

Oikawa looks to Iwaizumi, “Iwa-chan?”

“Uhh…” Iwaizumi looks at his phone. “I should probably go, actually, if I’m going to catch the last train…”

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa shoves at his friend’s shoulder. “I already told you that you could stay the night at my apartment! Don’t be a party pooper!”

Kuroo laughs, and reaches out to ruffle Bokuto’s already messy hair. “I’ll be staying over at this guys place tonight, anyway, so you two can have the apartment all to yourselves.”

Oikawa does his best to fight back a blush at the implications of that, while Iwaizumi coughs awkwardly into his fist.

“That’s uh, fine- either way,” he responds.

Oikawa feels his whole demeanor light up, forgetting the embarrassment from a second ago.

“So, you’ll stay then?” He confirms.

Iwaizumi sighs and rubs the back of his head. “I mean, if you’re sure… ”

“Yes! That’s the spirit, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa crows. “Stay right there while I go change, and then we can leave.”

It isn’t until Oikawa is staring into his locker, with the noise of his team buzzing around him that he allows himself to think again. His pulse is still racing; has he really not calmed down from the game, still? Or, is his he really… really…

_“I love you… I’m in love with you.”_

No matter what he does, he can't seem to get that moment out of his head. He's been playing Iwaizumi's words over and over in his head like a mantra these past few months.

Oikawa's not an idiot. He'll admit that he's usually more in tune with other people's feelings than his own. His team, his friends, and family… even strangers on the opposite side of the court, he can read the twitch of an eyebrow, the quirk of a lip, almost any mannerism he can pick on, and file away to better understand every person he meets. He's been called “creepy” before, analyzing people the way he does, but most of the time he can't help it. He really only goes overboard with it when he's on the court… when it can help his team win a match, a set, a point.

He tends to ignore his own feelings. He tends to shove them aside, bottle them up… and Hajime's really the only one who's been able to unpack them.

He knows that means something too.

Before he knows it, the locker room is cleared out, leaving only him, staring into his locker.

“You still haven't changed?”

Oikawa turns and looks at the person in front of him. The person standing in his team's locker room with a teasing grin on his face, who came all this way just to see him play, just because Tooru asked him to. The person who, only a few months ago, told him that he loved him, that he was _in_ love with him. The person who knows him better than anybody else on the entire planet, his best friend. Hajime.

“What's up?” Hajime asks, the teasing grin now gone from his face, making him look serious.

He can probably see Tooru's brain racing a mile a minute, because he's got that look on his face like, _What the hell are you thinking, Shittykawa?_

And now he's a little worried that he can read his mind, because they've always joked about that since they were kids, or been teased about it whenever they were too in sync.

He doesn't know when he turned away from the door but now he's mechanically shuffling through things in his locker, trying to look busy since his mind is too preoccupied to focus on what he needs to be doing.

“Oikawa.” Hajime's voice startles him from his right, and he slams his locker shit without thinking. He's next to Tooru's locker now, instead of behind him, looking at him with clear concern.

Hajime sighs, and runs a hand through his hair. “I should go.”

“What? No, I'm almost ready I promise!” He tries to sound bright and cheery, but his tone sounds strained. He also knows it's a blatant lie; he's still in his uniform, he hasn't showered,  he doesn't have any of his stuff and now his locker is shut. He starts fiddling with the lock, and now it won't open. He's turning the dial almost frantically- Why won't it open? Is this even his locker?

“Shit,” he swears under his breath before starting the combination over again.

“No,” Hajime puts a hand on his arm and he stills, and looks to the boy beside him. “I meant, I should leave. I shouldn't have come at all, this was a bad idea.”

Tooru just stares at him, blankly, trying to process what he means. Shouldn't… have come? At all?

“I'm sorry, Tooru.” Hajime says gently, before his hand slips off of Tooru's arm and he starts to move away.

“Wait!” Tooru panics and grabs Hajime's shoulders, because he doesn't want him to _go_ , that's the last thing he wanted. Now Hajime looks a little startled, and Tooru realizes that in trying to keep him from going to the door he kind of shoved him into the lockers. His hands fly up in mock surrender, but now his hands are shaking so he places them back down, gently this time, on Hajime's shoulders.

He missed these shoulders. They’re broad, and strong. They carried so much weight in high school, both literally and figuratively. He carried the team, and he carried Oikawa more times than he should have had to.

Tooru’s hands slip from his shoulders to run down his chest. He can feel Hajime’s heartbeat through the thin material of his t-shirt. It’s faster than it should be, normally, but it matches the pace of Tooru’s own. Hajime’s always doing that, matching his pace, even if now he’s doing it subconsciously.

He runs the flats of his palms and his fingers down further, feeling the muscles of his abdomen before his hands halt at Hajime’s waist. His fingers softly grip his hips, and his thumbs slip beneath the material of his shirt, and rest above the waistline of his pants. He feels… really warm.

Oikawa takes a deep, shuddering breath, he feels like he hasn’t been breathing this whole time. His eyes flicker back to Hajime’s. He’s looking for a sign, any sign, that he should stop, that he should let go before they do something irreversible. But Hajime’s just looking back at him, waiting for Oikawa to do something.

Oikawa wonders how much of their respective lives have been spent with Hajime waiting on him.

“Oikawa…” Hajime speaks and it’s barely a whisper, with no voice given to it at all, just his lips wrapping around the syllables in a breath.

“Can I kiss you?” Oikawa whispers back.

Hajime looks up at him, and he looks a little afraid, like if he says yes Tooru will laugh at him and say _Psych!_ or _Just kidding, silly Iwa-chan I would never kiss you!_

Hajime quickly nods his head, he almost looks a little frantic.

Maybe Tooru's just projecting.

He breathes in deep, and leans in, closing his eyes.

Their foreheads press together, and he takes a moment to relish in that closeness. They're breathing the same air now, and he almost wishes they could stay like this forever, this close.

Their noses touch for just a moment before their lips softly brush against each other.

It feels like such a long build up for such a little thing, just one small press of the lips, soft and gentle and so, incredibly brief.

But he keeps going back for more.

They press their lips together again and again, Tooru taking shaky breaths between each peck.

His thumbs press into Hajime’s waist, and Hajime slides one hand against his lower back, and one up to his neck, softly pulling the hairs at his nape.

Their kisses grow longer, as they slowly start to melt into each other. They kiss until they break for air, resting with their foreheads touching, holding each other gently.

It’s Tooru that pulls away first, a question popping into his mind, but doesn’t remove his hands from Hajime’s waist. He looks at his childhood best friend, now wide eyed and kiss flushed, and can’t help but feel like everything’s going to be fine.

Still, he asks “Do you..  are you still…” he takes a breath to steady himself. He feels like there isn’t any air in this locker room, like they drank it all in between kisses. “Are you still in love with me?”

“Yeah,” comes the quiet response.

“Good,” Tooru whispers in reply before diving back down into the kiss. This time it’s long and deep, and their hands grip each other more tightly.

A distant noise from outside the locker room startles them apart.

Hajime chuckles slightly, “We should get out of here.”

“You’ll stay, right?” Oikawa asks again.

“Yeah…” Hajime nods. “If you want me to stay, I’ll stay.”

Oikawa sighs in relief. “Okay, I’ll just be a second.” He grabs his things and changes quickly, leaving a shower for later.

They make it outside, and far enough away from the gym that Tooru reaches for Hajime’s hand.

Hajime takes it.

“Hey, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa looks at the person who’s finally beside him again.

Hajime looks back at him, and waits.

“I’m in love with you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a quick one-shot to get myself in the habit of posting things but instead it turned into a project which should tell you how all my other projects are going. If you comment I'll love you forever! Thanks to [ Lock ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lockiest/pseuds/multifascinate) for reminding me every day until I posted this (and the rest of my amazing and inspiring group chat). Find me on tumblr [here](http://xeylah.tumblr.com/).


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